One of the recurring subjects in conservative online community Ilbe is Japanese females. Why is predominantly male Ilbe population infatuated with ‘Sushi girls’ as called by Ilbe netizens? The idealized Japanese girl exists in between the reality and imagination of Ilbe users as an antithesis to one of their ultimate nemeses, the ‘Kimchi girl‘, a young Korean female persona depicted by Ilbe users as materialistic, stuck-up, whiny, and some more. Is this a case of a collective illusion stemming from ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ or ‘grass is greener on the other side’ sentiments intensified by the online misogyny trend against homegrown females? An Ilbe user shares his tips on how to make Japanese penpals or e-pals for his fellows.
From Ilbe:
Penpal Master’s Sushi penpal know-how: how to find Sushi girls
It’s been two months since I began my penpal friendship. Until I met a nice female high school student, I had a shit load of trouble but now I can share some know-how on how to make Japanese penpals, which I have acquired from mental and physical experiences. Excuse my pathetic writing skills.
For those poor gays who want to meet a Sushi girl whenever there is a post about Sushi girls on Kimchi-girl-hating Ilbe, I decided to help them push their wheelchair up to the starting point of penpal friendship.
In your happy fantasy about a Sushi girl on your wheelchair, you joined a penpal site but you didn’t receive a single message for a week. Haven’t you Ilbe gays experienced that? I will share my tips in hopes that you disabled people can also feel some love. I will lead you to the starting point of your happiness. Follow me.
1. Where to find Sushi girls?
If you search on Naver, you can easily find about 5 Korea-Japan friendship sites. But because there are many blind gays like Lee Sin here, I will kindly pick some good sites for you.
(1) Go Japan
On Go Japan, you can make comments or send private messages to other users. I don’t recommend this site because not all services are free and you have to pay at least for a month to use some convenient function. Also, you have to get into open competitions. The Korean male-Japan female user ratio is like 4:1 or 5:1 there. Since the site is not totally free and too competitive to you low-life Ilbe gays, let’s skip it.
(2) Message board type
I recommend you a site named ‘Hi! Penpal!’. You don’t even have to type it in English. You can just type it with three fingers like Jax in Korean to find that site.
Some guys complain that there are too many Koreaphiles on that site, but you will be able to find many decent people there, according to my long-time penpal experience. Don’t try to get something good easily. You have to put that much effort. If you want to meet a good girl in a heartbeat, you are just one step below the uber thief class.
Japanese female member list on Hi!Penpal!
2. To catch good fish, you need good equipment.
Shit, the title makes me cringe but all I’m saying is that you need to make your profile look good. I will explain for you brainless Mundo gays.
Your profile picture and self-introduction can raise the chance for you to meet Sushi girls. I hope no gays choose something stupid for nationality or put Arabic in the language blank.
Some idiots write their profile in Korean or English. That’s some motherfucking retarded shit. If you have some experience with Japan, you may know it’s hard to find a Sushi girl who speaks English. Introduce yourself in Japanese definitely.
I heard Korean letters appear broken on some Japanese mobile phones. The few lines in your profile show up on your thumbnail so just write it in Japanese like a Japanophile.
For another tip, do not write pointless bullshit and retarded things like ‘ke ke’ and ‘he he’ in your profile. That looks fucking retarded. If you see a Korean gay with a profile like that, he always has a retarded number of views.
Greetings + why you want to have a penpal + say that you will wait for a message.
It’s okay even if you don’t speak Japanese. Use an online translation program such as the LINE app or Google Translate. Try reverse-translating to check if it makes sense. As I said, no pain no Sushi.
LINE Korean-Japanese translation service.
Now, you got your profile registered and you wonder. ‘I did what that fag told me to do but how come I get no message?’
For these fucks, I got more things to tell. If they don’t come to you, you have to go to them.
FYI, no profile picture doesn’t mean she has a problem. Some decent Sushi girls are hesitant to post their pictures online. Trust me.
Sushi girls with pictures get high views even if they look fucking weird or have monstrous buck teeth. That is because the user ratio is unbalanced like Go Japan. So what should our gays do? Here comes the real tip.
Try to find Sushi with low views if possible to avoid competition. To give you mama’s boy gays a rule of thumb, try those with 150+ views but give up on 200+. However, there are some Sushi who just got on the site or decent Sushi without any picture with below 30 views. Have a good look.
Also, if you find ‘K-pop blah blah’ while reading Sushi profiles, just press the back button. Ignore them. Occasionally though, you can have some luck with decent girls who say they have some interest in K-pop or Korean drama.
Usually, Sushi girls will send you a cell phone picture or purikura if you ask. You can’t trust purikura. In most cases, they can send you cell phone pictures so don’t worry.
Today’s last tip: don’t use Kakao Talk or LINE.
At most 3 days? 7 days in the best case? On average, you will lose contact with them within 2 days. Listen. They have a different culture so there can be some misunderstandings.
We Koreans send text messages like ‘what are you doing?’ anytime we want but they don’t have as good mobile networks and they don’t check messages as often. It depends though. I strongly recommend you to use email. Refuse to use Kakao Talk or LINE.
If you send an email message, 90% of the time, the Sushi girl will reply with a thank-you. Don’t get intimidated like when you have one-sided love for a Kimchi girl. Just talk to someone who gives you a good feeling. You will definitely get a reply within a day. Most times, it’s within 20~30 minutes. Then write a reply, shedding some tears and moving your ‘kirik kirik’ squeaking wheelchair.
Next, introduce yourself, tell her your age, what you do, etc. Find a topic and go from there.
From Ilbe:
Q: Don’t we need to speak Japanese well? How does that work if we don’t speak Japanese?
A: As I said before, you don’t have to speak Japanese. Unlike English, because Japanese is grammatically similar to Korean, translation programs work very well. It feels like you are talking to a friend next door. On Hi!Penpal!, there is even a translation button. Japanese messages can be magically translated into Korean as soon as you press it with your little finger. That function uses Google Translate so if that doesn’t work very well, use Naver LINE translation. If you still have a problem unless you are brainless Mundo, your life is pathetic.
Q: There are too many Koreaphiles. Are you kidding me?
A: As I said, you need to put some effort to find a good one. If you can’t bother, just fuck it.
Q: Can you recommend me a better site where Koreaphiles aren’t the majority like Hi Penpal?
A: There is this website called Innolife. I don’t know about other sites very well. Innolife is in Japanese so you should be able to read Japanese. Since we are low-life Ilbe gays, just stick to Hi Penpal. Don’t expect too much. Think of it as a little hobby. Penpal is one hobby.
Q: I’m doing fine with LINE/Kakao Talk. Should I try to switch to email?
A: If we use Kakao Talk or LINE, conversation topics will be depleted very fast. Unless you are a good talker, you will have nothing to talk about soon. If you are very social, this shouldn’t be an issue but most Ilbe gays aren’t like that, right?
Q: What if I receive a picture and she looks like an Orc or I meet someone better than the one I am talking to?
A: Two ways. One way is, just gradually reduce the frequency of your replies and eventually stop talking. Most Sushi girls use that method to turn down Korean guys they don’t like. Another way is to politely say no. If you are already talking to a person you like but an Orc appears, politely apologize to her that you already have a penpal and don’t need any more. She will understand.
Q: What if I get to meet her in person? My Japanese fucking sucks.
A: These days, there are many who learn Korean in high school or vocational school. Even if she didn’t learn Korean, when she begins to think she really wanna see you in person, she would usually start studying Korean. But if you don’t study Japanese, relying on her Korean, that will be fucked up, okay?
Q: My face is below average. What can I expect?
A: Case by case. They will care about your face but they don’t give you a fuck-you in your face like Kimchi girls. It depends on the individual though. They would say they try to see other good things or value personality more but it’s up to you to believe that or not.
Q: I look fucking manly and not cute. What can I expect?
A: They have some big fantasy about guys doing military service in Korea. Military service is not mandatory in Japan and there are Korean celebrities associated with cool images in the military. Sushi would want an attentive guy they can rely on so if you look manly, that’s a plus.
Comments from Ilbe:
뭐하고있어?:
Sushi girls send email quickly because they write it on mobile phones. Sushi call it ‘short mail’. It’s just like sending text messages using email. But if you can’t speak Japanese, it may be annoying to use email. And on the site I use, there’s no such competition because there are more Sushi girls with 1:3 ratio. If I just put my email address on the site, I get like 10 messages everyday.
산업:
Once I was a penpal addict but I got tired of it… FYI,
1. Sushi girls tend not to send a message to people without profile pictures.
2. Sushi girls care about your face in your profile picture to a degree, too.
3. At first, Sushi girls are a bit passive.
4. Never get a K-pop fangirl penpal. It doesn’t last long.
5. Write your email short, concise and meaningful to keep it going for long. If you guys get very close, you might as well write longer.That’s my advice. I’ve been talking to this friend on Naver LINE for several months and she’s fucking nice.
故_인턴교사:
I’ve been talking to this girl I met on DokiDoki Postbox everyday for three months. If you use LINE, you will lose topics to talk about quickly, but I like that she answers fast. If I write something wrong in Japanese, she bursts into laughter. She laughs at these little things. She barely sends me pictures, ke ke. I’ve seen only three pictures for three months, ke ke. It’s pretty cute when she transliterates Korean in Japanese. Btw, she lives in Ibaraki next to Fukushima with serious nuclear radiation. ㅠ
치탄다짱내거라능:
I did penpal for a short while back in the day. There are too many Koreans on Korea-Japan penpal sites that appear on Korean search engines because they are Korea-based websites. So I found websites using Google Japan. There were normal penpal sites but even on some cosmetics site for some reason, I found a message board for Korea-Japan friendship. If you go to those Japan-based sites. the Sushi-Kimchi ratio is like 80:20 so you can get attention and it’s easier to find a sensible girl. Use Google Japan. That’s much better. Through that method, I met a Japanese girl living in Korea, met some other Japanese girls in Japan when I visited them and in Korea when they visited me. Fuck, I lost every contact after I got a Kimchi girlfriend asdfwewqcewdasd Anways, use Google Japan.
입원하냐:
What fucking tips are you talking about when you’ve done it only for two months? You must be crazy to recommend Hi Penpal. I also met my first penpal on that site a year ago but it’s not a good site if you are looking for long-term friendship, dude. Why? Most of them are K-pop idol fans. What’s bad about it? If you don’t care about those idols, you don’t have much to talk with them. Even if you know a lot about those idols, when the topic gets old, you guys will stop talking. That happens a lot on Hi Penpal.
金正日:
Japanese is fucking easy to learn. At first, I knew some words and spoke choppy Japanese but after talking to a Sushi girl everyday for an hour for a couple of months, I can listen and talk in Japanese smoothly. My vocab is just like Japanese elementary schoolers but I can communicate. I can’t write or read yet but it’s not a problem because I can use a translation program for writing messages.
그래서그러니까:
Please don’t upload gay-looking pictures and don’t make suckup comments. I get second-hand embarrassment. If you speak Japanese and have a mixi account, that way is better. Don’t ask for any ID before becoming a Nakayoshi. Your ID can be banned.
정상은아니야:
When I was a little boy, I had a Japanese penpal with whom I exchanged hand-written letters. She followed Pres. Roh [meme meaning ‘died’] when Kobe Earthquake happened… She didn’t look bad. After that, I stopped doing penpal, so I give you a down-vote.
젠틀몬스터:
You son of a bitch, aren’t you an employee from Hi Penpal?
ratedXXX:
You know something. Avoid K-pop fanatics whenever possible. They care about your appearance a lot and if they find someone attractive, they make him fucking tired just as much as Kimchi girls do. They look for an idol-like Korean boyfriend who would fulfill their fantasy. As Sushi girls can be burned by Kimchi men, Kimchi men can be burned by Koreaphile Sushi girls, too. It’s better to start friendship on DokiDoki Postbox. There are many Sushi girls who are not Koreaphile there.
mestad:
I can hear the sound of pussy-suckers [who allegedly pamper and spoil girls] flocking and Kimchifying Sushi girls. Fucking pussy-suckers… The problem is with these pussy-suckers among us, so no matter where you look at, it’s down to fucking Kimchi man’s life after all.
티아라벌레:
Hey, I did what you told us. I found 3~4 girls to talk to within 20 minutes. One Sushi girl replied in 3 hours. Another girl in 20 minutes. Another one isn’t responding in a conversation. Two of them are decent-looking high schoolers. Why is their speech so cute? Their detailed emoticons are very cute. Oh and even though I didn’t upload my profile picture, I’m getting by fine. To see if I’m talking to real locals in Japan, I asked them to take a picture of their neighborhood to send me and they did it. Fucking happy, haaaa. You guys should definitely find high schooler Sushi girls. Their emoticons are freaking cute.
모모쿠로:
More than 90% of Sushi bitches who do penpal seem to be just interested in K-pop idols. I can’t find someone who purely wants to talk to a Korean person. And don’t trust purikura pictures.
응가마려긍가:
Hey, I posted my profile and got a Kakao Talk request right away. I’ve been talking to her for two days. We’ve exchanged many cell phone pictures and she looks pretty. She’s full of cuteness and if I don’t respond quicky, she’s like ‘Oppa, are you at work?’ She’s 18 years old. I will get married to her in 10 years and I will post a proof picture. I got a Sushi girl!
네웃음속그림자:
Ke ke, I don’t know if it’s just my gut feeling but it seems like many Ilbe gays joined the site during these couple of days. Their profiles in Japanese look the same! Too many mass-produced Ilbe gay bots.
